


Feelings

by rainjazz



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Bottom Thomas, Depressed Newt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In the Maze, M/M, Oral Sex, Sad Newt, Top Newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 16:44:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13979316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainjazz/pseuds/rainjazz
Summary: Newt had an idea. It was dirty and wrong, but he looked Thomas up and down, taking in the sight of his well built body, and knew that this wonderful boy could be his answer.





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> I realize that this is very similar to my other Newtmas smut but whatever, it's different enough.

          He couldn’t feel. He needed to feel. Why couldn’t he just feel something? He had tried damn near everything; from hanging out with his friends to drinking to banging his head against the wall. He wanted to cry and scream and shout at the whole damn world but all he could do was sit in his bed and stare at the ceiling, his face devoid of any emotion at all. He tried to think but there was nothing. Always nothing. An empty cave full of nothing.  
          As he lay there, forgetting about all he had done that day and just trying to “enjoy” the alone time he had, he couldn’t help but think that he desperately needed something, anything, to make him feel. He tried counting the nails going up the side of the wall and the ones that were haphazardly banged into the ceiling after they had that horrible leak. Seventy-eight whole nails all together. He tried to count the ones on the other walls as well but it became increasingly dull and he decided he would be better off just staring into nothingness again.  
          It was times like these when he really wished he had died that day. And now all he had was a sad limp to show for it and the continuous thudding of his lazy heart, barely even attempting to keep him alive, but doing so just enough to where he could be aware of his life and be absolutely miserable. Newt wanted to die right there on his very own bed, quietly so he wouldn’t cause too much of a fuss, and peacefully so he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. He was about to drift off into a dreamless sleep when there was a soft knock on the door.

“Hm?” Newt’s response was sleepy and barely audible, but the receiver heard it nonetheless.

“Hey, uh, Newt? Alby was looking for you and sent me up here to find you, but I can tell that you’re probably busy so uh, well, I can just go and-”

“Tommy? Tommy, no, I mean, come in.”

          Newt had cut him off and felt bad about it but he just couldn’t bear to listen to the poor boy stutter awkwardly over his words any longer. Thomas opened the door hesitantly and lingered in the doorway. Newt sat up and chuckled at him.

“Well come on now Tommy, I don’t bloody bite.”

          Thomas gave him a nervous smile and stepped into Newt’s room, closing the door behind him. Thomas had a feeling that he was somehow intruding on something due to the dark and mopey vibe that Newt was giving off. He felt worry bubble in the pit of his stomach that maybe the other boy wasn’t doing so well, but shoved it down and told himself that he was just imagining it.

“So, what does Alby want with me this time then?”

  
          Newt got off of his bed and stood up, taking a few cautious steps towards Thomas. He could sense that this situation was making him feel uneasy, so he tried to be gentle and force out some positivity to make him feel better.

“Oh, um, well, he said that usually you stick around for a bit after working and thought that maybe you’d finally run off with the grievers or something.”

         Newt forced a laugh. He knew that what Alby really meant was that he hoped Newt hadn’t tried to kill himself again, to be blunt. He was always acting like a mother around him since it had happened, closely watching his every move and always asking him if he was okay. He wasn’t, of course, and had never stopped wanting to try again, but the pain he caused from his first attempt left him with a pressure to stay.

“Alby isn’t my bloody mum. He needs to really calm down sometimes and let a man relax for once,” Newt sighed a little too genuinely and crossed his arms together, shifting his gaze towards the wall.

“Well, I don't blame him. I mean, we all worry about you. You do seem pretty distant sometimes. And, well, to be honest, I worry about you a lot too.”

          Thomas blushed a little bit and scratched his head, avoiding Newt’s eyes as Newt looked up at him, a little surprised.

“Huh, I didn’t peg you for the soft type, Tommy,” Newt chuckled again and stepped closer to Thomas. Thomas blushed harder but didn’t budge.

         Newt had an idea. It was dirty and wrong, but he looked Thomas up and down, taking in the sight of his well built body, and knew that this wonderful boy could be his answer. Everyone knew that there was already tension between them. Newt was always lowkey flirting with Thomas, always making him blush that damn cute little blush that he couldn’t control. Newt may not feel anything, but if he had any chances of feeling ever again, Thomas was it. But he knew the importance of consent, so he would go slow and devour him later, if Thomas accepted.

“Tommy,” Newt said suddenly, breaking the silence that was about to become unbearable, “I think it's very sweet that you worry about me,” Newt leaned in closer and smiled a sweet smile.

“Oh, oh gosh, well, I-I do, I mean, of course I do,” Thomas blushed, taken by surprise at Newt’s sudden flirting.

          There he goes with that stupid blushing again, bloody hell, my flirting never fails, Newt leaned even closer so their noses almost touched.

“Tommy?”

“Yeah?” Thomas’ voice was quiet, almost shaky with apprehension.

“I’d like to kiss you,” Newt whispered.

“Oh, wow, Newt, I-”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I like you a lot, Tommy, so if you feel the same, then I’d like to kiss you please.”

          Thomas couldn’t believe it. He had been crushing hard on this boy since day one and now, out of the blue, he was asking him straight up if he would kiss him. Thomas wanted to scream yes, to shout it to the world, yes, please, I would die to just kiss you even once!

“Y-yeah, I want to, I do,” Thomas could barely get the words out, but he managed.

          Newt smirked, and just like that, he was kissing Thomas. It felt good. Newt wasn’t sure if he was just trying to feel what Thomas felt or if he really felt it himself, but it was good. And he wanted more.  
Lips locked and hands in hair and before they knew it on each other’s bodies too. Newt wanted to feel every inch of Thomas, and needless to say Thomas wasn’t complaining. Thomas relished the feel of Newt’s soft blonde hair and his soft cheeks and neck and his, well, everything. Newt was perfect and Thomas wanted all of it. The boys wanted each other and they had hands and lips to prove it.  
          Their kiss became sloppy and eventually they had to breathe, but Newt had other ideas once they had regained their breath. Newt pulled Thomas’ hair and gently yanked his head to one side exposing his neck. He kissed under his ear and left a trail down his neck and to his collarbone. He sucked and nipped at all of it, causing small moans to form in Thomas’ throat. Thomas pulled Newt closer by the hips, signaling that what he was doing was good. Newt sucked harder at his neck, trying to not let himself get carried away, but the growing heat in his stomach made it difficult to hold back.

“Mm, Tommy, come here,” Newt turned him around and pushed him back onto the bed, letting himself fall on top of the helpless boy.

He stopped for a moment to look at Thomas. “Is this okay?” Newt asked gently.

“Yes,” Thomas said, but it came out as more of a moan. Newt smiled, almost genuinely. He wasn’t feeling enough yet. He needed more.

          Newt lifted up Thomas’ shirt and took only a second to admire his beauty before licking up his torso. Thomas gasped at the feel of his cold tongue but it made him more horny and he tugged on Newt’s shirt, holding back a moan. Newt slowly licked his nipples, swirling his tongue around, pushing back the urge to bite him. Thomas emitted wonderful noises at that, and Newt had to moan himself because it was so hot and he was so hard and oh god he wanted to just fuck the submissive boy right there, but he knew he had to be patient.  
Newt came back up to kiss the other boy hard this time, and Thomas loved it, but he was squirming around trying desperately to find some friction. He finally found some on Newt’s leg and began rubbing himself ferociously as they continued to make out, but Newt would have none of it. Thomas whined as Newt pulled back and stood up, grinning at him.

“What’s the matter Tommy? Do you want more?” Newt teased.

“Ugh… please…” Thomas pulled at Newt’s shirt again, begging him to come back.

          Newt loved having control of him, but he couldn’t tease for much longer. He palmed Thomas’ bulge and leaned over to suck on his collarbone, this time being sure to leave behind a mark. His mark. Thomas threw his head back, still tugging on Newt’s shirt.

“God, please Newt, stop teasing me and just ff-fu-”

         Thomas was cut off by Newt pulling his pants and boxers down and started licking up his cock. He licked at the head, teasingly of course. Thomas bit his lip hard, waiting for more. Newt made one last stop, being sure that Thomas knew that he was in control.

“You’re mine Tommy,” Newt moved back down and took all of Thomas in his mouth, sucking him and licking him like his life depended on it.

         Thomas gripped the sheets and gave up on trying to hold back his moans. He cried out in pleasure, breathing sped up and hips moving along with Newt’s pace. Up and down he went, determined to make Thomas come fast.

“Oh, fuck, oh god, ff-fuck… Newt… mmm…” Thomas’ hip bucking became ragged and he grabbed Newt’s hair as Newt made one last bob up and down and Thomas nearly screamed as he released into Newt’s mouth, riding out his ecstasy as Newt made sure to keep his mouth around him until he was finished.

“Ah.. fuck…” Thomas covered his mouth with his hand and relaxed onto the bed breathing hard and Newt released his cock from his mouth, swallowing every last drop.

“Newt…” Thomas breathed, face bright red from his orgasm, noticing the painful looking bulge in Newt’s pants.

          Newt had felt something while having control over Thomas, but it quickly subsided and was replaced with a need for his own relief. He didn’t know what to do at this point, he had only planned on fucking Thomas. He stood there a bit awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Thomas, and started absentmindedly rubbing himself through his pants, trying to relieve the discomfort.

“Ah…” Newt accidentally let out, almost forgetting that Thomas was there.

“Hey, let me help you with that,” Thomas said quickly before he got too turned on again watching Newt rub himself.

          He could just sit there watching him and get off himself, but that would be too selfish, and Newt deserved better especially after what he had done for Thomas.

“Oh, Tommy, you really don’t have to-ahh, fuck.”

          Thomas had already stood up and replaced Newt’s hand with his and was rubbing him now, placing gentle kisses on his neck. Newt wanted Thomas to be rough with him, to bite him and choke him and scratch him, but he knew that Thomas was the gentle type, and that that was probably what he needed right now anyway.

“C’mon Newt, let me fuck you too,” Thomas whispered into his ear. For some reason Newt’s heart leapt at that, and at the same time his erection became all the more painful.

“Tommy…” Newt groaned. Thomas understood.

          Thomas pulled down Newts pants and boxers slowly, letting Newt’s hard on hit the air, causing Newt to suck in his breath. Thomas placed more gentle kisses down Newt’s soft torso, loving every inch of him, and took hold of his cock.

“Mm, yes, please,” Newt moaned.

          Thomas smiled and began pumping him, grabbing onto his ass with his other hand. Newt was surprised at that but liked it, taking in the pleasure he gained from Thomas’ hand on his cock.

“Is that good, Newt?” Thomas asked him, kissing his cheek.

“Yes…more...faster…” Newt needed more, as usual.Thomas let go to Newt’s disappointment and kneeled down in front of him.

“Hmmm….” Thomas looked up at Newt, grinning a sly grin, attempting to tease him.

“God, please, Tommy.”

          Newt couldn’t take it much longer, he was about to grab Thomas by the hair when Thomas finally took him in his mouth. Newt let out a gasp and moaned louder than he ever had before. Fuck, Thomas was good at this. Newt thrust his hips towards Thomas’ mouth, not believing that it could feel this good. The warmth and his tongue and everything-Newt nearly had tears coming out of his eyes it was so good.

“Oh fuck Tommy holy shit oh my god ah-”

          Thomas sucked and bobbed faster until he could almost feel Newt about to come -hard. Newt moaned his loud moan as he let go into Thomas, almost losing his balance. He grabbed Thomas’ hair, pulling his head more towards him, causing Thomas to gag a little bit. He was feeling something for sure. It was the best orgasm he had had in a long time.

“Bloody fuckin hell Tommy,” Newt was panting and he flopped onto his bed where Thomas joined him, wiping his mouth.

“Sorry, was it too much?” Thomas gave Newt a concerned look.

“No! No, it was bloody perfect,” Newt breathed. But as he did so, the all too familiar sinking feeling came crawling back into his chest. Thomas smiled, a little pleased with himself, as he watched Newt get dressed and followed suit.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” Thomas teased.

“Oh, shuck it.”

          Newt gave him a playful slap on his arm and tried to force out a chuckle. He knew it wasn’t convincing. He returned to his bed and sat up against the headboard, hugging his knees to his chest. He tried his best to push away the dreaded depression that came creeping in despite the events from a few minutes ago.

“Newt?” Thomas asked cautiously, feeling the worry bubble in his stomach yet again, “Hey, you okay there?”

“Yeah,” Newt mumbled, “Just, uh, go and tell Alby that I’m okay and that… he doesn’t have to… worry…” Newt trailed off as he began to get lost in thought about how numb he felt. Thomas walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Newt, what’s wrong?” Newt looked up at him and could almost feel his heart melting with sadness at the worried look on Thomas’ face.

“Tommy, I-”

          Newt suddenly became choked up at the thought of telling someone how he felt. He hadn’t done it since that day, and had planned to never do it again. He wanted to forever keep his feelings secret and try his best to forget about them. Thomas softened his demeanor at Newt’s sad expression and sat next to him, putting a hand on his.

“It’s okay, Newt, you don’t have to tell me anything, but if you want to, I’m right here,” Thomas gave Newt a warm smile.

         And suddenly Newt was broken. Thomas had cracked him open like an egg and he was spilling out everywhere. He hid his face in his knees and let out a sob, barely feeling the little squeeze that Thomas’ hand had given him.

“Tommy… I… can’t…” he said between sobs, “I can’t… I can’t do this anymore…”

          Thomas moved closer, wrapping his arms around the sobbing boy and placing gentle kisses on his head. He didn’t say anything, letting the other boy get out what he needed to get out.

“I just don’t feel anything anymore and I don’t want to live, Tommy,” Newt buried his head into Thomas’ chest, letting out more sobs.

“It’s okay, Newt, it’s okay to feel that way. We can work through this, okay? Don’t worry love, it’ll be okay,” Thomas kissed Newt’s head some more and let him cry until there weren’t any more tears left.

“Tommy…” Newt whimpered, “Tommy I like you a lot.”

          Thomas lifted up Newt’s head by his chin and looked at him, chuckling a bit.

“Hey, I like you a lot too Newt,” he smiled that sweet smile of his that made Newt glow inside. Thomas could make him feel. He didn’t realize it before, but that would be his answer, for now anyway.

“Newt, you look like you could use some sleep,” Thomas chuckled at his now boyfriend’s red eyes and flushed face, cheeks still shiny from tears. Newt sniffled and nodded, crawling under his blankets to get warm.

“Please don’t leave me, Tommy,” Newt pleaded.

“Hey, don’t you worry, I’ll be right here,” and with that Thomas and Newt snuggled up together in his bed and closed their eyes peacefully.

“Thank you, Tommy, for making me feel,” Newt whispered before letting himself give in to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever write anything besides Newtmas smut? Probably not. I love them too much and they love each other too much and I will never get over tdc to be honest.(Tumblr is douxkid)


End file.
